I bring you the conclusion of the history of Mario, hot on the heels of my last update where I used the introduction of the Super Mario series of video games as a metaphor for the creation of civilization and also a metaphor for anything else you may have thought of by reading too much into what I was saying about an Italian plumber. Conversely, if you didn't pick up on these metaphors because you thought I was just trying to be cute now would be a good time to reflect on your stupidity.

Before we get into that though, I'd like to point out that there aren't three Christian Slater movies about a vigilant skateboarder avengeing the death of his asian brother, who like all asians in America, was adopted. They simply released one movie under three titles: A Brother's Justice, Gleaming the Cube, and Skate or Die. Each title is meant to appeal to a different market segment, with the former title tailored toward the justice seeking movie goers, and the latter title geared toward fans of forcing people to skate under pain of death, where death might involve even more forced skating, only this time off a plank into shark infested waters! I don't know the word that goes inbetween former and latter so I'm going to skip that one.

When we left off Mario had just been enlisted to vanquish Bowser, foe of man, dweller of places underground. Rest assured he succeeded. In order for me to wrap up this entry I'm going to greatly condense everything that happens next. Basically Mario trades in his red overalls for blue ones and goes on vacation in Jamaica. Upon arriving at his resort destination he finds it has been vandalized with paint by someone masquerading as him. The local authorities, too concerned with making sure everyone cast as the inhabitants of Zion in The Matrix: Reloaded is from Jamaica, decided not to conduct a proper investigation and instead imprisoned Mario. Once Mario finishes cleaning up the vandalism he is free to go. What kind of screwed up vacation is that?