Us Magazine recently featured Kelly Clarkson on their cover with the accompanying headline:

Kelly may refuse to lose weight just to be famous, but given that she hasn't explicitly ruled out the following scenario I think it's safe to assume she would definitely kill babies in order to be a star. That doesn't bother me though; I don't know any babies personally and if Kelly Clarkson's baby murdering rampage to stardom solves the problem of babies in movie theaters then I'm actually all for it.

However, I can't help but think that this magazine cover would have made more sense if Kelly Clarkson were actually fat. Here's a version featuring a for real fat person: