Ridiculous entry title provided courtesy of Big Island Filipino Community Council newsletter, where the pages are filled with fanciful sentences that only very special unicorns who learned how to type could have created; and even then a special typewriter had to be used that replaces unfanciful words with the words "fly", "butterfly", and "soar high above on your wings". I plan on using one of these sentences in each of my entries until a local Filipino gets enraged by my diary, finds out where I live using the details provided in my previous entry, and then comes to my house to stab me in the face. Special strategy guide for revenge seekers: if that address leads you to a P.O. box at a post office, I'm the one wearing the USPS uniform and sighing loudly everytime I have to retrieve your package from the back. My weak spots are my kindneys and the sinew behind my knees.

I was at Borders last week where they had signed copies of the book Staying Calm in the Midst of Chaos: How to Keep Positive in an Unsettled World on a table that at one point separated author Carolyn Gross from a dozen or more people that gathered around to hear her give advice on quelling the advance of stress in their lives. I could have used some of her advice. The secretary where I work doesn't let just anybody waltz into our building; I think that's a fine policy in general, but she says it's because of the threat of terrorism... here, on one of Hawaii's less popular islands. What if she's not overreacting?

Can this book help you? Only if you read it. So, no.

Carolyn Gross Mini-bio Phd: No. Knows the word homeostasis: Check!

Terrorism, combined with the threat of one of the island's volcanoes exploding can make for a pretty unsettling world. How would I cope in this world. How would I live in it? My answer: I wouldn't. Instead, I chose to live in the peaceful and quaint virtual world of Animal Crossing.