Someone at work is giving away their 70s-80s era LP collection. What if it's all [disco] and Eddie Money and Wham!? Then that'd be totally great of course! It's impossible to talk about Wham! without sounding really excited about them because of the built-in exclamation mark; and also because of their amazing melodies. I'd really like some LPs, though. I don't even have a record player, or as cool people possibly call them, a phonograph. But! Two years ago I didn't have the skill to sculpt the next La Victoire de Samothrace, and it's a good thing that didn't stop me from purchasing Playdoh's famous sculpting clay, because.............

Look, one day I might figure out where you live and which end of a knife is safe to hold and then you'll be sorry!