Have you read Mauve by Simon Garfield? OMG! Me too! Let's be friends!

Look! I already drew this picture of us holding hands and flying that kite I got for sending in my UPCs to Red Baron's Pizza! And ,whoa!, nice hair punk rocker! You might have noticed that the picture is incomplete though; that's because I left the best part for you! You can draw your face in to complete our friendship masterpiece. Here's an example:

Crap! I messed it up. Please don't let this be the end of our beautiful friendship. I feel terrible. This is worse than the time I saw Westway to the world and discovered Mick Jones had aged. Super badly. It's worse than the time I found out the word I invented for the title of my sci-fi porno, Replicunt, had already been invented by someone else. And NOT for a sci-fi porno.