Happy Boy's Day! Here's a cheerful picture of some koinobori to help you celebrate this joyous Japanese holiday. The girls in the picture are icky and unwelcome, but their presence is tolerated because one of them brought a tray of musubi. I've added a tank to the picture to represent the shadow of despair that is ever-present; though it is kept at bay by our happiness, it will one day wrap us up in its cold misery. The tank commander who has popped out to celebrate is apparently ignorant of this metaphor, and is actually totally ruining it :(.

Shelly gave me some fish-shaped chocolates as a Boy's Day present (I know 'fish-shaped' sounds dumb but I didn't want to call them chocolate fish because then you'd have to think about it and you might arrive at the incorrect conclusion that it was chocolate candy made out of fish, and that's gross.) But I didn't get Shelly anything for Girl's Day because, baby, this is America, and in America you don't eat cake for Christmas, you don't blur out the hoohas in your pornography, and you certainly don't get a free handout just for being a girl when the calendar says March 3rd. But thanks for the chocolate fish!

I'd already like to apologize for the misogynous views I've just expressed. Girls, please choose one of the following:

Joan of Arc lifts her visor to cool her face as she takes a respite from slaying Britons.

Girl-like Paris exalts in his fiendish good looks as Hector tries not to notice.

Ooooooh! Good choice!