OOFGM I bought a DTS copy of the SAVING PRIVATE RYAN DVD at Borders today! For those of you not in the know- for all of you, there are two versions of the DVD out there: the normal version commonly owned by queers (the band), and the comparatively rare (RARE! L@@K!!! on Ebay) DTS version which features Digital Theater Systems surround sound. Watching the DTS version of SAVING PRIVATE RYAN is the next best thing to actually getting killed in WWII. WI! OUI! I'm practicing my French. Also at Borders today, someone tried to sell me pot! If you're accustomed to this sort of thing you might politely ask me to replace the exclamation point that ended my previous sentence with a period, or just erase it completely and move on to the next subject. It's not as if he proposed to fellate me a fish, am I right?

After watching the movie DEAD MAN, don't stand up, dust yourself off, and then exclaim to the room that you thought Neil Young's brilliant score was dumb unless you like it when lots of people loudly disagree with you. That movie was boring despite actually being great. It had something to do with William Blake, who you might know from the painting that Ralph Fiennes ate in 2002's Earth's Brett Ratner's RED DRAGON. Other than that, have fun pretending you get it!

Ho, boy, I hope I didn't complain too much about turning 23 because I just attended a dinner for Shelly's grandmother's 93rd birthday. In fact, I hope I haven't complained too much about anything recently because I'm going to France soon, and things could be a lot worse than that; for instance, I could be watching JUDGING AMY right now!