Okay, that was unfair of me. I went to Portland for OSCON 2004, then spent a week visiting my brother in LA. Did you get an update to fill you in on all the exciting details of my trip? Nope! Instead you got a photo of an olympian squeezing another olympian's boob <--- (click for joke). I know when I've made a mistake - no need to tell me. For instance, when I pack my pet rabbit, instead of my travel iron, in my suitcase, it's going to be clear once I open the closet at my hotel and discover they provided an iron for me that I didn't need to bring my own iron. I don't have to wait for the "you idiot!" guestbook entries to start pouring in. So here's my entry about my visit to Portland and OSCON 2004.

OSCON is a convention where geeks get together to talk about software, and it was pretty good. One of the guys behind LiveJournal gave a talk on the software they wrote to load balance req... oh, forget it - hey, remember this??

	He's looking at that livejournal image generator now. It's going to be a while...
	He just likes it because they show boobs sometimes.
	Yeah but it's mostly penises. Like 20 penises for every one boob.
	That's a terrible ratio! Someone should make a version that only shows the boob pictures.
	But then someone would have to sit there and manually filter out all the non-boob pictures.
	What? You're telling me acneboy just got back from a convention where software's greatest minds talk about state-of-the-art software, and no one there wrote any software to detect pictures with boobs in them?
	Dude, don't worry, I just found a program that does that. It's just like what the FBI uses to find criminals in photographs. You just show the program thousands of pictures of criminals to teach it what criminals look like, and then you show it a class photo from an elementary school yearbook and it can tell you which kids will grow up to be criminals, and even what crimes they'll commit!
	The FBI can do that??
	Yeah, totally. Except this program, instead of showing it criminals, you show it boobs, then it can start finding boobs in photos. Here's a demonstration. First I input this picture of a boob into the program:
	command: input image << breast.jpg
	Now that the program has learned what a boob looks like, I tell it to search the internet for more pictures of boobs. To show off the power of the program, we will stipulate that it only return pictures containing atleast 1000 boobs.
	command: find image breast (>1000)
	And zero penises!
	Yeah, and zero penises.
	command: exclude( penis )!!!!!!
	Holy crap, it got a hit! Man, the picture must be of a massive lesbian orgy to have 1000 boobs in it. Or maybe one of those nude races. Here it is:
	output: 1 image found:
	Frick!