By: Kalendor

I tried to come up with some ideas for things to write about in Acneboy's diary, but it was hopeless. I asked him for some ideas last night and he said he couldn't think of anything. Then a minute later his eyes grew really wide and he started tapping my shoulder and saying "Oh! Oh! I know!" He held up the churro he was eating, pointed to it, and said "You could write about how this churro was trying to overthrow the government! There was a standoff! Then a stalemate! And then I outsmarted him by eating him!" I told him that was a stupid idea, plus, you can only outsmart someone by eating them if you pretend your mouth is a cave; like when Han Solo piloted the Millennium Falcon into that cave that was actually a- awww, crap. Do you see what that nerd has done to me? It just goes to show you that anyone can change. Last week I was using my fist to lodge cameras into the faces of photographers that were trying to steal my soul by taking my picture. Now I sit around watching Friends reruns and Star Wars, and listening to some band Acneboy likes called The Weezers.

Even Acneboy has changed. Two years ago he was obsessed with dressing like a girl. He's gotten over that, thankfully, and now he can't figure out what to do with all the Powerpuff Girls tshirts and Kero Kero Keroppi lipgloss he owns. My suggestion was that he resume dressing like a girl since wearing the same Sandman tshirt over and over again is, arguably, much worse. He's still a pussy, though. For instance, if someone cuts him off in traffic, he'll only flip them off if he's absolutely certain that they won't see him do it.

Again, some things never change. Acneboy's girlfriend just finished reading the book Fast Food Nation. That book's supposed to be like a "scared straight" program for people that eat too much McDonald's, only instead of meeting prison inmates or visiting a morgue, you're reading about the various types of congealed fat they slice up and turn into french fries. Like I said, she finished the book, but then she and Acneboy talked about its good points over a couple of Whopper value meals at Burger King. Yes, Acneboy ordered a Jr. Whopper. And didn't finish it.